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Your MLS postseason teams as Cure albums

The band whose cunning use of flanging and eyeshadow was never really able to move past the gloomy reputation they acquired in the early 80's despite hits like "Let's Go to Bed" and "Friday, I'm in Love."


FC Dallas

Schellas Hyndman's team had a commanding 29 points headed into July, only managing to get 11 points more including last night's win over Seattle. Following the game David Ferriera and Jackson had to be separated. Departing or not, there is never any way I would consider Hyndman a lame duck coach.

Neil Young may have wrote in My, My, Hey, Hey, that's it better to "burn out than fade away." From my perspective, neither sounds like much fun.

Honorable mention: Montreal Impact

Tied with Houston at 29 points headed into July, Montreal is on the playoff bubble going gone 4-7-2 since August.

Three Imaginary Boys

Winner: LA Galaxy

Three world-class designated players in Keane, Donovan, and Gonzales but injuries, international call-ups have made it hard to get the players together and on the same page.

Honorable mention: San Jose Earthquakes

The trio of Wondo, Lenhart, and Gordon is still effective but the 2012 model may be an unrealistic standard to hold them to.


(read: exposed). Three-way tie: Vancouver, Philadelphia, and Columbus all needed wins to keep their however slight playoff hopes aloft. Didn't happen.

Kiss Me, Kiss Me, Kiss Me

The Chicago Fire

More specifically this befits Mike Magee. Prior to Magee's arrival, the Fire had a 2-7-1 and had been shutout in six of those matches. Since then the team has gone 12-5-6 and Magee is tied for the Golden Boot lead with 20.

Wild Mood Swings

Seattle Sounders

They started off slow, then picked up steam. Sort of. Then they dropped off again. Then they played incredibly. Now its two points in six games, four consecutive losses, outscored 14-4 right smack dab in the middle of squeaky bum time. The album, like it's title suggests, traverses both mania ("Mint Car") and utter despair ("Want").

The Head on the Door

Sporting KC

Robert Smith's childhood anxiety of insomnia brought about by a nightmare of a floating head in his bedroom is an apt caricature of Sporting Kansas City's Supporters Shield aspirations. The cup is there for them, they just need to beat Philadelphia and hope that Portland, RSL, New York and, possibly Los Angeles, falters along the way.


New York Red Bulls

An original MLS team, New York has never won a cup. To add insult to injury, the league announced a second club will be built in New York as a joint effort between the New York Yankees and Manchester City. The New York Cosmos have exploded back on the scene (7-3-1, top of the NASL). as well.

Failing to reel in a big coach this summer, the Red Bulls handed the reins to Mike Petke who may have never coached before, but bleeds New York soccer. With two matches to go, the Red Bulls control their destiny by winning out.

Mixed Up

Real Salt Lake

Taking out the guitar and beginning "Pictures of You" with only a bassline and a kick drum is jarring. But when the guitars sweep back, you get that "aha!" moment.

This was supposed to be a rebuilding year. Tell that to Jason Kreis. Losing three key parts to free agency and trades (Fabian Espindola, Will Johnson, and Jamison Olave--all of whom are key contributors on New York and Portland, two other teams in contention for the Supporter's Shield), Real Salt Lake made it to the USOC final, clinched a sixth consecutive playoff spot and are still in the <pun>mix</pun> for the Supporter's Shield.


The Colorado Rapids and the Portland Timbers

Wish was the Cure's most commercially successful album. Colorado won a cup after qualifying as a bottom seed while the Timbers have now qualified for their first postseason berth as an MLS franchise. Neither team qualified for the postseason last year. Coaching changes led to philosophy changes brought personnel changes.Conor Casey and Kris Boyd left each squad respectively, each transaction representing a move away from the 4-4-2 route-one nature to a more technical, possession-oriented result.

What do you think? Think we should have gone with Hall & Oates instead? Leave a comment below!